Diary of the Dead a Noble Failure

Posted by chainsaw under reviews

I finally got around to seeing “Diary of the Dead,” the latest zombie flick from George “Dawn of the Dead” Romero.

It pretty much received universal bad reviews from horror geeks, and they’re not a discerning bunch.

“Diary of the Dead” is about the zombie apocalypse — you know, the dead inexplicably come to life and eat the living — told from the point of view of a group of University of Pittsburgh film students.

Zombie movies — a genre invented by Romero — are great because they work on so many levels. The original “Dawn of the Dead” was part action movie, part survival flick, part horror film, part gore flick, part dark comedy — with an underlying context of social commentary.

“Diary of the Dead” fails because Romero takes that last part — social commentary — and makes it the movie’s first priority. Don’t trust the media, the government lies, cameras and computers anesthetize the masses, etc.

The movie is filled with moments of brilliance. A brief cameo by a deaf backwoods farmer. A sequence in a hospital. A scene where acid is used to bring down a zombie.

The characters’ journey through a zombiefied Pennsylvania approaches a “Heart of Darkness,” epic status, even though the film was made on a low budget.

But Romero derails his film at every turn by having his characters literally talk to the camera to deliver his “message.”

Further killing the film is a forced, completely unnecessary voiceover — again, just so his characters can deliver the “message.”

And I won’t even mention the professor who is introduced sipping from a flask. The guy’s a walking cliche who hangs around for far too long.

While most consider “Diary of the Dead” a failure, Romero is apparently working on a sequel. I’m looking forward to it, assuming he leaves the Captain Obvious social and political commentary behind.

Movies You Might Have Missed

Posted by chainsaw under reviews

I was part of a sweet, class-action lawsuit against Netflix — AND MY FREE MONTH OF MOVIES JUST ARRIVED!

Woo hoo!

I’ve seen a bunch of movies that flew under the radar during their theatrical release.

LARS AND THE REAL GIRL

This is one of those movies I added to the bottom of my Netflix queue, but everything else was “long wait.”

Pretty boy Ryan Gosling stars as Lars, a socially awkward (maybe he has Asperger’s?), painfully lonely dude who lives in an unattached garage on his brother’s property.

He orders a sex doll from the Internet and begins treating her not only as if she’s real — but as his soulmate.

Sounds totally freaky, right?

It’s not.

The movie has a distinct fairy-tale vibe and eventually the viewer, like the super-sweet townsfolk who populate the film, starts to pull for Lars and his plastic play thing.

(Note: they sleep in separate bedrooms)

“Lars and the Real Girl” plays more like a Frank Capra fantasy then a bawdy art-house flick. It’s probably the ultimate chick flick (and a great date movie) as all the men are super-sensitive but sorta clueless, while all the women are brainy, compassionate and in charge.

LARS AND THE REAL GIRL: SEE IT

IN BRUGES

Yes, the trailer makes it look like yet another variation on “Reservoir Dogs.”

It’s not. In fact, it probably has more in common with “Lars and the Real Girl.”

Colin Farrell plays a hit man whose last job didn’t go so well. He’s sent to Bruges with veteran killer Brendan Gleeson (”28 Days Later,” “Harry Potter”) to chill out while boss Ralph Fiennes figures out how to proceed.

Farrell’s character is a coke-snorting, violent-prone, yet guilt-wracked bundle of nerves — and a big kid.

It is, by far, the best performance of Farrell’s career.

Gleeson’s character, meanwhile, is a level-headed, mild-mannered middle-aged man who simply wants to take in the ancient city’s architecture.

Together, the odd duo is subtly hilarious.

Don’t be fooled, however. This is a supremely dark, often violent flick — with a doozy of a climax that will make you shield your eyes from the screen.

How strong are the performances in “In Bruges?”

Well, Ralph Fiennes comes across as a bone-chilling psychopath (and one of the best screen villians in a long time) . . . and this comes across in a scene where where Gleeson simply reads a letter from Fiennes’ character.

IN BRUGES: SEE IT

 

Glen Reviews A Movie No One Wants To See

Posted by chainsaw under guest blogger, reviews

This morning guest-blogging machine Glen Baisley e-mailed me a review for “Lost Boys 2.”

Unfortunately, Glen is one of those children of the 80s who preferred the 1987 vampire flick “Lost Boys” starring the two Coreys over “Near Dark,” an infinitely better vampire flick released the same year.

That’s like favoring “Mobsters” over “Goodfellas,” or Sammy Hagar’s years in Van Halen over David Lee Roth.

For reasons I can’t quite fathom, Glen decided to waste 90 minutes watching “Lost Boys 2,” released straight to video 21 years after the first film.

Here is the trailer, followed by Glen’s review:

The only reason to watch this is for the same reason that people stop and watch a car accident - morbid curiosity.

I had heard that the movie would reunite Corey Haim, Corey Feldman and Jamison Newlander (The Frog brother who has never really worked since the original Lost Boys) so I was curious to see what story the writers churned out for them 20 years later.

Don’t read on if you don’t want spoilers.

This movie is a bust. Newlander shows up for about 30 seconds after the credits and Haim is only found in 2 alternate endings. Feldman’s acting is so far over the top this time that it just doesn’t work. It’s a good thing Haim has no screen time because the two unused alternate endings reflect the state of his career.

The plot twist this time around finds an older sibling becoming a half vampire to save the younger sibling who is almost turned. Throughout the movie there are numerous nods to the original, including an impaling on a set of deer antlers.

This movie sucks. Pun intended. Fans of the original should completely forget this sequel exists. It you made the mistake of buying it, leave it out in the hot sun to melt and shrivel up like a vampire in the burning sun.

LOST BOYS 2: REJECTED BY GLEN